I’ve tried. I’m tired. I’m done. What is next? What can I do? Is it meant for me? This ain’t meant for me. They steal all my ideas. My family doesn’t know what I’m trying to do. My friends don’t support what I do. Will I ever get to the top? When is my time? I’m lonely. Should I quit. Why would they like my stuff?

STOP. You’re Good! If you keep going…

This message was written for you. Believe it. There have been many times I have sat at the bottom of bottoms for many days. But I had to keep focused. I had to keep praying. I had to keep grinding. You must remain humble and thank your people. You’re going to make it.

Let’s break this down:

“I have sat at the bottom for many days”

THE. BOTTOM. I am talking pocket lint, no food, gas tank on “E” and you better not be thirsty because NO drinks are on me (Lil Boosie was not talking about me, clearly). HELP ME OUT! (*Say in “Wipe Me Down” melody). But I had to find a reason. That reason for me is still being developed. I had no idea if I was doing this for self, my family, friends, the world, or a bigger cause that I have yet to discover. We all are projects in the works. Think about it. As you go day-to-day or year-to-year you develop in some sort of way. You meet new people, you drop off the old ones (middle fingers to the F-Boys and F-Girls causing all kinds of hell), and you find out more and more what you like or don’t. This continues to build your personal brand. You need to shed the layers of yourself in order to bring forth your final form. A flower can not grow without being buried. Take your time at the bottom to rid layers and be prepared to break through barriers to produce your fruit.

“I had to keep focused”

Distractions. Say it with me: DEE-STRACK-SHUNS! They come like flies at the bbq when the potato salad is hitting RIGHT! Then as soon as you pay attention to the distractions, what happens? YOUR ‘TATO salad hits the floor! THE WHOLE FLOOR. You run back to the bowl and there is nothing left. NOTHING. The same thing happens when you lose focus and pay attention to small things. You take for granted that what you had will be there whenever you need it. Later, you find out that you’ve lost something you can not get back because you were distracted. Keep your focus. There were times when I would log on to social media and see people catching flights, their feet in the sand, purchasing new cars, and obtaining everything they wanted and I wanted. Seemingly. Everything in my world would then fall apart. I would second guess the blessings I had sitting in front of me. I was not taking into account the possibility that someone may potentially be looking at my life and wish they had the things or opportunities I did. I had to take a step back and refocus. Once I did. I started seeing things unfold. SHOUTOUT TO G-O-D!

“I had to keep praying”

SHANDO! I had to keep praying. Literally, it speaks for itself. I kept praying no matter what. I will not say I am the most religious, but I kept my faith. When all doors around me shut, I stayed prayed up in the hallways.

“I had to keep grinding”

*Makes Eclipse beat on my table* GRIN-DING! Have you ever stubbed your toe on the concrete during the summer? When you look down all the ashy scratches appear and you curse the ground like it got in your way? I often wonder if the ground rolls its “eyes” and curses at us. Too deep. Never mind. Any who, I bring that scenario to your attention because that is the type of grinding you need to do. TOE-TO-CONCRETE GRINDING. Nothing less. I like to believe I am a pretty creative person. I can think of an idea and will legit build an empire in 30 minutes or less. But then I let doubt creep into my mind. I let the thought of failure have more meaning than the potential greatness of my idea. STOP THIS. I have received so many “no’s” or masked rejections covered up by the statement “let me see what I can do” or “i’ll get back with you”, neither of which ended up helping me in the end. But I never gave up. Projects will fail. Proposals will be denied. Offers will be rescinded. Emotions will be rejected. Your reflection in the mirror will get on your nerves. But you must remember to take the L’s in order to prevail. You’ll be skrait (straight). In other words, you will be okay. Just keep it going. And just like the toe you scraped, it will hurt for a moment, but it will heal.

With +Magical Love,

Ellise